Dear Diary

Obscene Ideas

January 1, 2020
Today is New Year’s Day, and Mistress is having a party to celebrate the occasion. Yes, we partied last night, but Mistress loves to have a good time.
Mistress had a task for me this morning. We had some shopping to do to prepare for tonight, and these were her instructions:
“Baby girl, we have a few things to do today. I have a special accessory for you to wear while we’re out.”
I wondered what it could be. A new pair of vibrating panties? A pair of her dirty ones? When she left the room to allow me time to prepare, I opened the brown package. A hot pink butt plug sat in the silver lining, and I gasped. A bottle of lube sat next to the box, and my body hummed with excitement and fear. We were going out in public, and no one would be able to see my ass or what was inside of it, but I would feel it. Every step I took, every turn or bump the car made, when I sat down. With my heart thumping in my chest, I lubed up my pretty hole, and inserted the toy. As I dressed myself, I felt the weight of it, and I attempted to remain calm. I could do this for her!
“Selena!”
She was ready, so with as much courage as I could muster, I pushed my shoulders back, held my head high, and walked out to meet Mistress. I wore a long-sleeved yellow V-neck shirt, red sweat pants, and my Timberland boots. Mistress stood by the door, waiting for me.
“Ready to go, sub?”
“Yes, Mistress.”
The ride to Walmart was boring and quiet, and sitting with a plug in my ass felt strange. I inhaled sharply when the plug moved inside of me, and became more nervous as we approached the store.
“You doing okay, baby girl?” Mistress asked as she swung her arm around my shoulders.
“Yeah,” I answered, my voice shaking.
We stepped inside of Walmart, and my heart began to race. The plug in my ass became heavier, or maybe, it was just me overreacting. I could feel people’s eyes on us as we held hands, the prejudice evident in their stares. I kept my head held high though as we shopped for food and alcoholic beverages, knowing that if I lowered it, Mistress would give me a lecture and a cold caning for “not facing everything head on.”
At the counter, the pretty cashier smiled at me, and I smiled back. Could she tell that Mistress was cupping the back of my neck where my collar fit just right? Could she tell that I was a bit clumsy and shaky because I had a toy shoved up my ass? Either way, the items were paid for, and we were back in the crisp January breeze
“Were you thinking of that woman? Did you think she could see how much of a dirty slut you are?” Mistress teased as I shakily climbed into the car. I could feel the plug, and my panties were starting to grow wet with my arousal.
“Yes, Mistress. I wondered if she could see you holding me by my collar.” I admitted, my face flushed.
We drove for a while, my mind elsewhere. As a reward for handling the shopping trip so well, Mistress allowed me to listen to my favorite pop station. Music made me feel relaxed and calm, and it was working…until we hit a bump. I gasped, and I heard Mistress’s sadistic laugh. She threw her head back so that I could see that she was having fun with making me squirm and moan.
“You wish I was fucking your tight little pussy with that red dildo you like so much? Oh no! You want the turquoise strap-on up your ass, is that it?”
“Fuck, Mistress! Stop!” I groaned, squeezing my legs together. An ache was starting to form between them. I did want all of those things!
“How about my tongue licking your pussy clean, my lips sucking hard on your clit? Or my feet being the one to cause you to combust?” Her laugh surrounded me, and I moaned loudly.
I focused on the music, the thumping beats and sweet melodies. I focused on my dream of becoming a singer, creating beautiful songs of love for Mistress. I opened my eyes a few minutes later, and gasped at the big sign: Calibal’s Mall.
“Mistress…”
“Let’s go, sub.”
The mall was large with many floors and stores. However, we stayed on the main one, perusing Macy’s and Shocker Shoes. While trying on a pair of red high heels, Mistress dropped a box right behind me, and bending over to pick it up, her head pressed into my ass, causing the plug to move inside of me. I inhaled deeply, my pussy clenching. Fuck! Turning around to face her, her eyes met mine, and the familiar spark between us ignited. No time to waste!
“Where is your bathroom, Sir?” Mistress asked the cashier at the counter as she held my hand tightly.
“In the back.” He answered, pointing to the back behind some display cases.
It felt like I was flying as we walked into the bathroom. A public restroom, and we were about to taint it with our dirty deeds. Pushing me into the stall, Mistress closed and locked the door. I had my shoes and pants off before she could blink, and her lips were on mine. I moaned softly into her mouth, and then, her hand was pushing me back against the wall.
“Spread your legs. Don’t make a sound.”
Fuck! I did as I was told, and she wasted no time plunging her fingers deep within me. I was already wet, and she didn’t seem to mind as she rubbed my clit with my juices on her fingers. I wanted to moan, scream, let her hear me, but she had given me an order. My orgasm was building, and I inhaled and exhaled. I didn’t want this to end!
“I know, honey,” she breathed into my ear. “Grab the plug, and move it in and out of that tight dirty hole.”
Her fingers didn’t stop, and I had no choice. I was so close, so I did as instructed. Oh My Gosh! The feeling was exquisite, and as her fingers pumped in and out of me, I did the same with the plug.
“You’re on the edge, aren’t you?” Her smile was everything to me.
“Mistress, may I please cum?” I whispered between gasps. Fuck!
“Yes, baby girl.”
With her fingers pressing into my G-spot, I moved the plug in and out, and I saw stars as I exploded all over her hand. My legs shook, and I slumped against the wall as her fingers continued to fuck me.
“You okay?” She asked as she kissed my lips.
“Mmmhmm.” I mumbled, attempting to stand.
Her arm went around my shoulders, and she pulled me into her embrace. I felt safe and comfortable, and knowing that she had just taken me to new heights with my orgasm thrilled me. She pulled the plug out of my ass, and I winced.
“Did you like that?”
“I did very much, Mistress.”
“Good. Would you do this task again?” She looked into my eyes then.
“Yes, I believe so. Your guidance and love pushes me to be a better sub and to reach new heights, Lady Leona. May I kiss your feet to show my adoration for you?”
“Yes, my beautiful sub.”
I got down on my knees, and licked the tops of Mistress’s boots. Kissing up and down each foot, I felt her hand caressing the back of my neck where my collar clasped.
“Time to go, baby girl.”
I completed the task, and Mistress was happy. While Mistress is napping, I need to get things set up for tonight, so I better be going. I can’t wait to sit at Mistress’s feet at dinner, proving to her friends that I’m an obedient sub.
https://anchor.fm/kita-bear/episodes/Update-and-Special-Treat-ev1117

Release

Obscene Ideas

The bottle of the lube was on the nightstand. I knew what that meant for tonight. I had felt it when I went to retrieve my cup of water that he had left for me. Daddy was planning on using my body for his pleasure, and honestly, I was ecstatic. It’d been weeks since I last had an orgasm, but it was my own fault.
The rule was that after work, I was to come straight home. On this particular day however, I’d had a long day at work, and I just wanted to unwind with a few friends at Tommy’s, the hottest bar in Berkeley, California. I texted Daddy, telling him I’d be home soon. I must have underestimated the power of time, because when I checked my phone as I was stumbling into my friend, Jimmy’s, car, it was 7:00 p.m. I didn’t even bother texting again, because when I arrived home, I knew I would feel the wrath of Daddy. What could I say? I was a twenty-four-year-old who worked with the blind in a school setting, and I also worked for a private company, teaching underpriveliged teens Braille. I knew that Daddy could relax me with his loving embrace and a good paddling, but I just wanted to get out for a while. Since we were both blind, I couldn’t even sneak past him, because he heard the door open, even though I tried to quiet the squeaky hinges. His booming voice told me that I was in deep shit, and that’s how I ended up with a cold caning that night, and left to sleep alone on the couch with a stern order from Daddy.
“Don’t touch yourself until I give you permission. It could be a week, two, maybe even a month. Regardless, your orgasms belong to me, and you won’t cum until I say so!”

It had been torture, not being able to touch myself, while showering, while dressing myself, even while I was alone. There were times I grew hard, and there was that familiar ache, my balls tightening, my heart racing. However, there was nothing that I could do, Daddy was in control, and waking up this morning to find the bottle of lube excited me to no end. Would he make me wait a few more days? Would he fuck me tonight? Would he use a condom or fuck me raw? I squeezed my legs together, feeling my dick start to harden. Fuck! The familiar ding of my cellphone sounded, and I reached for it. VoiceOver announced Daddy’s name, and I smiled as his text was read aloud.
Daddy: I’ll be home in ten minutes. I want you ready and waiting for me. Have that ass prepped too.
I was too happy to oblige. I missed his terms of endearment and his kisses when we talked or texted, but I knew that it was all because I had broken our rule. I rose from the bed, and grabbing the lube from the nightstand, I headed into the bathroom to prepare for Daddy’s arrival.

The front door opened, and I heard his shoes being kicked off. He usually placed his bag on the couch, grabbed a beer, and sat on the couch to watch TV while I sat at his feet. All of that happened, but I wasn’t with him now. The volume of the comedy show was raised, and I heard his booming laugh. He wasn’t planning on moving from that couch anytime soon! My knees begged me to give them some relief from the hardwood floor that I was kneeling on, but I had to please Daddy. So, I waited. I wanted to think of all the ways he would punish or pleasure me, but I didn’t. Instead, I counted down from one-hundred, hoping he would walk in our bedroom at any moment.
The crushing of the can startled me, and I realized then that I had been slouching with my arms on my knees. I repositioned myself, and pushed my shoulders back as I heard his feet approaching the entrance. I closed my eyes, using my other senses to feel Daddy somewhere, anywhere. I could smell his cologne, so earthy, his body wash, so manly. Then, I felt him near me, the heat radiating from his body, his scent becoming more prominent. My Daddy! Pain seared the skin of my right shoulder as I felt his teeth, and I groaned loudly.
“Nathan, good to see you’ve followed directions for once,” he growled into my ear. “Stand and face me now.”
I complied immediately, and gasped when his hand grabbed my limp dick. Oh God! It was short-lived. His hands traveled up to my stomach, over my nipples, over my arms, and they stopped on my neck.
“Lean your head back, cock sucker.”
I did as I was told, his commanding tone causing my heart to beat faster. What was he going to do? His palm rested on my throat, and I froze. Pressing down lightly, I felt my heart lurch in my chest, and then, it became harder to breathe. I opened my eyes then as his hand pressed into my throat, and his other came down hard on my left cheek. I gasped as he let go of my neck, and another slap echoed around our bedroom.
“Why did you disobey me, boy?” His voice was harsh as he asked me, and I inhaled to calm myself.
“I just wanted..some..time, Daddy,” I stammered. “I just wanted to drink with my friends. I’m sorry for disobeying you, Daddy.”
“Sure you are, you dirty cock sucker! You want me to forgive you so that you can taste my creamy load, right? Or, do you want me to fill your tight little hole with my white cream? Which is it, slut?”
“Neither, Daddy,” I whined. “I’m genuinely sorry.”
“Lying will get you nowhere, fucker! Now, which is it?” He yelled.
“Both, Daddy.” Tears fell from my eyes, realizing the extent of my disobedience. He was pissed at me!
“Since you are a disobedient little cunt, I’m going to treat you as such. Bend over the bed now!”
With my heart hammering in my chest, I obeyed. Silence was all I could hear, had he left the room? What was he planning to do to me? I breathed in, and I could still smell him. Then, my front was pushed further into the bed by his rough hands.
“Count with me, fucker!” He growled, and I bit my bottom lip.
“Yes, Daddy.”
Without warning, the strikes landed on my ass and the backs of my thighs. I counted each one, the pain burning like a raging fire. I deserved it, I had fucked up. He was right, and I was wrong. I continued counting, attempting to control my tears. You are brave, you can do this! However, I didn’t feel brave at all. The pain was becoming unbearable, and as snot ran down my lips, I counted thirty. I just knew I would cave and use my safe word. I didn’t want to, I wanted to please Daddy. He was very skilled with canes, and it was a regular implement when it came to punishments. Cold caning was his favorite way to discipline me. The instrument of torture whooshed through the air, and I screamed. Fifty!
“Red! Daddy, I’m sorry. Fuck!”
The cane fell to the floor, and I collapsed into the pillows. Ow! My fucking ass! I had fucked up, I deserved this! Tears spilled onto the sheets as I bawled, feeling nothing but pain.
“Get up and stop acting like a fucking baby! You want this dick, don’t you?”
“Yes, Daddy.” I answered as I sniffled.
Breathing in and out to calm myself, I kneeled, my limbs and knees protesting. Everything hurt like hell, but for Daddy, I would do anything. I felt his wet fingers slide into my pre-lubed hole, and I gasped. He moved them in and out of me, my dick growing harder by the second. Then, I felt the familiar pressure, and I moaned.
“That asshole needs a nice fucking, and I’m going to pound you until you beg me to cum.”
In one swift motion, he was inside of my tight hole, fucking me hard. I moaned and screamed, my hard dick aching for release. I wanted his hands on it, stroking, squeezing, rubbing. His fingernails dug into my skin, pain and pleasure washing over me. Over and over, he hit spots within me that made me cry out, and I knew that he hadn’t let go of his anger over my disobedience. We were both releasing feelings, emotions, and pent-up energy, and in this moment as semen filled me, I vowed to do better in our dynamic. His hands caressed and massaged my sore ass, and I sighed in relief.
“Thank you, Daddy. I promise that I will follow directions and obey the rules.”
“Good, baby boy. Now, turn over so I can give you the release you’ve been craving for three weeks.”

Update on Life and Books

Welcome back readers!
This past year has been filled with trying times for everyone, and it seems as if we’re almost on the other side, Lord willing! This past year for me brought about many changes, some bad, but I am grateful for the good things that came out of 2020. First, I mentioned in my last blog post that I graduated May 29th of last year, but a few days ago, I found out that we will be having a ceremony to celebrate our graduation! 🙂 I’m so excited that the graduates will be celebrated.
I also moved into my own apartment, which has been something that I’ve dreamed about for a while now. Columbus, Ohio is my home and has been since high school, and I’m grateful that I get to live here. Things have started improving since moving, and I can only thank God, because He is the one blessing me.
Now, let’s talk about books!

The Red Lair Series

My last post was about Blind and Bound, and I prefaced Blind and Free. This story is emotional, intense, empowering, and heartbreaking at times, and I feel like it shows my storytelling better than in the last two books. Jakita is the Head Mistress of The Red Lair, a dominatrix by profession, and is used to getting what she wants. Joseph’s home life leaves him feeling lost, bruised, and battered. After a horrific accident robs Jakita of her sight, Joseph steps in to make things easier, but will she allow him to help her?? Will helping this mistress give him the courage and freedom he needs to escape his abusive and alcoholic father?
This book was a rollercoaster emotionally, and I had to take mental health days off from writing. I admire Jakita’s strength in this book, and Joseph’s as well. They both overcame tough situations, and they had each other. This book is my favorite out of The Red Lair series, because of the fact that there is a dominant woman in the story.
Blind and Free
I had planned to take some time off from writing to promote my other books, but a friend urged me forward, wanting another story in the series. Two weeks later, Blind and Broken was finished, and I’m excited to share this emotional story with you all. There are twists and turns in this book as well, but I’m sure you will love it!

Sweet and Frosty

This book was published in December of 2020, and it was a fun collection to write! I wanted something that readers could read while cuddling with their partners, or sitting alone on a couch drinking hot chocolate and eating cookies, or watching the snow fall on a cold winter’s day. The title, Sweet and Frosty: Tales of The Cold, Wise, and Loving, came from the three winter holidays: Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. I also did a word play on “cold” for dominants, and the three things that I associated with them in that moment: their sometimes cold demeanor, their wisdom, and how loving they can be.
This is a collection of six stories with the holidays present in each story. LGBTQIA+ themes are present within this book, and I am so proud of myself for branching out. Normally, I’d just stick to gay stories, but I decided to try my hand at lesbian erotica, and surprisingly, it turned out well! I support gay rights wholeheartedly, and that’s why each LGBTQ-themed story is in pairs of two. I hope you’ll enjoy this quick but fun read! 😛
Sweet and Frosty

Final Thoughts

Thanks for taking the time to read! My next blog post will be a bonus snippet. It’s based off of a scene from Blind and broken, and shhhh, don’t tell them that I told you, but Jakita and Joseph are having problems.
Love you all!